As I watch the debates and the race for the Republican Presidential nomination (and the presidency lets face it), I find myself mesmerized. Not necessarily by the area on top of Donald Trumps forehead that seems to defy all of the laws of nature and physics and not necessarily by what the candidates are saying… because none of that is legally binding or guaranteed if they win, and not. Also the audio becomes irrelevant anyway because we don’t watch TV at home so when I see the candidates it is always on a TV on mute: at the gym, waiting to get my oil changed, etc. It is either watch that or Steve Harvey lead Family Feud (which is actually easier to follow on mute). The thing that is fascinating to me is the few words that these people have chosen to represent themselves on the lower third of the screen.
Chris Christie: Governor of New Jersey
Donald Trump: Billionaire and Author
Carly Fiorina: Former CEO of Hewlett-Packard
Mike Huckabee: Man of Faith and TV Personality
Ben Carson: Neurosurgeon
Lucas Motley: Has a blog…?
I’m a little worried about my lower third title. But also wouldn’t it be awesome to have that lower third sometimes when you are arguing with someone? Like when my wife is trying to tell me that I’m wrong about a movie quote, the lower third during my response would read “Lucas Motley: Has seen this movie 5 times“, “Lucas Motley: Steal Trap Mind of Useless Facts.” I was on the phone with my Dad a few weeks ago asking him about a home repair. I had the nerve to argue something with him about the very question I called him to ask. If only we would have been on FaceTime with his lower third reading, “S. Motley: Built His Own House.” That might have saved us both some headaches.
Billy Graham: Evangelist
Jennifer Laurence: More Famous Than Beyoncé
Harrison Ford: Han Solo
As far as the presidential candidates, how do you debate Ben Carson on healthcare issues when it says “Pioneer of Pediatric Brain Surgery” below his face? Who has the stones to tell Donald Trump he doesn’t understand the economy when “Billionaire Tycoon” is pinned on his shirt? That is why it has to be so hard to debate a sitting president running for a second term because below his name it says, “The President.” I feel like they just need to gesture at the label, point to the scoreboard essentially and they win. I feel like if we could all wear name tags that generated these labels we might all save some time and really save some people’s dignity before they listen to the wrong person.
Jeff Bridges: Unintelligible
Jonas Salk: Cured Polio
Angus Deaton: Nobel Prize for Economics
Hugh Jackman: The Wolverine
Kim Kardashian has views on politics and people on Twitter care about her opinion. But if she was wearing the label “Made a Sex Tape with Ray Jay” first people would say, “Who the heck is Ray Jay?” Then they might ask why would this person know anything about… well… anything? In fact, why is she famous? Lady Gaga might weigh in on the National Budget but under her name it would read, “Highly Acclaimed Recording Artist and wearer of Meat Dresses.” It is a nice way to put things in perspective don’t you think?
Kim Jong Un: Tyrant
Si Robertson: Professional Hillbilly
Tom Brady: Cheater
But when you get right down to it some of these titles are too long. If you only get 1-4 words that’s when it get’s interesting… and frightening. What would mine read if I went on the News? Lucas Motley: Misfit? Father? Foster Parent? Pastor? Master’s Degree in Leadership? Expert Nerd? Forced to Resign? Wears Stretch Denim? Writer?
Today I’m going to go with Lucas Motley: Proponent of Common Sense.
What about you?